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Show profile Hide profileI was a creative child; at age seven, I started my own flea circus. I'd bribe the family dog with biltong to be the tour bus. By the time I turned 12, I was an expert in Para-jitsu, the secret art of self-defence using cocktail umbrellas.
I hold a world record in getting a bank card swallowed by the ATM, and all my Zen gardens are cat-proof. My curiosity is insatiable, although when I found out what's in polony, I induced immediate amnesia through self-hypnosis. In my spare time, I hand-craft firelighters from recycled take-away containers and spirit miniatures abandoned by defunct airlines.
I'm well versed in human behaviour, an expert in human misbehaviour, and I always know what makes people tick; usually, it's a clipboard. I read between the lines; it makes novels last twice as long.
I prefer champagne to real pain, shamrocks to real rocks, and I'm not even allowed to discuss shampoo in the office any more. My bank account number is a palindrome, and for stress relief I juggle unicycles while sitting on a chainsaw.
I've bottled moonlight and woven nets to catch the wind; for an encore, I filled in my own tax return. Today is the best day of my life, and i know its going to be twice as good tomorrow.
I was a creative child; at age seven, I started my own flea circus. I'd bribe the family dog with biltong to be the tour bus. By the time I turned 12, I was an expert in Para-jitsu, the secret art of self-defence using cocktail umbrellas.
I hold a world record in getting a bank card swallowed by the ATM, and all my Zen gardens are cat-proof. My curiosity is insatiable, although when I found out what's in polony, I induced immediate amnesia through self-hypnosis. In my spare time, I hand-craft firelighters from recycled take-away containers and spirit miniatures abandoned by defunct airlines.
I'm well versed in human behaviour, an expert in human misbehaviour, and I always know what makes people tick; usually, it's a clipboard. I read between the lines; it makes novels last twice as long.
I prefer champagne to real pain, shamrocks to real rocks, and I'm not even allowed to discuss shampoo in the office any more. My bank account number is a palindrome, and for stress relief I juggle unicycles while sitting on a chainsaw.
I've bottled moonlight and woven nets to catch the wind; for an encore, I filled in my own tax return. Today is the best day of my life, and i know its going to be twice as good tomorrow.
