Look out for the warning signs of abuse, perhaps?
But how can you tell if she’s being emotionally abused when women are more prone to tears and the damage isn’t as obvious as the blue eye some women manage to hide behind an extra layer or two of make-up?
Get her out of the violent situation that is inevitable 20% of the time?
It’s also true that as much as you may care for her and believe you know what’s best, you can’t force her to leave a situation she psychologically has accepted to bear - in other words, even if you got her out, she may very well run back the second you’re not looking.
Teach the abuser a ‘lesson’?
Well, depending on whether you decide to take the legal route or decide to take matters into your own well-meaning hands, you might end up anywhere from she-has-to-file-the-complaint and 25-to-life.
Do nothing because it’s not your problem?
Well, this might be wise in terms of protecting yourself and your family. On the flip side, deciding to do nothing because it’s not your problem implies that if you have female relatives, you (logically) ought to be okay with someone else doing nothing if your loved ones found themselves in a similar situation.
Perhaps the most effective thing is to control what you can and start with yourself - your own thoughts, and actions. Consider how you treat people who are more vulnerable than you are; whether it be children, people with disabilities, the elderly, the sick, your employees if you’re an employer, animals, individuals who’ve experienced some degree of trauma, and individuals under the influence of alcohol or drugs. If you find that you do have tendencies to abuse* vulnerable groups (even in the smallest way), micro-changes to your behaviour can make a big difference to the society you are ultimately a part of.
The examples above have everything to do with violence against women because more often than not, the core reasoning for such acts comes down to power imbalance that has very little to do with the victim and so much more to do with the perpetrator.
At the end of the day, there are many actions you can take to shield her from those who would aim for the target on her back. What is certain is that doing nothing is guaranteed to do nothing for women you don’t know, and for women you do know.
So, what are you going to do when the most vulnerable of your society is being targeted?
*Abuse is defined as the regular or repeated cruel or violent treatment of another person.
“Women”, “woman”, and “her” refer to persons assigned female at birth.
References are available on request.
